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Sitting with emotions

By Crisanne Schworn

SAT OCT 03, 2020

Dear friends,

I have been learning to sit with my emotions rather than ignoring them. Which does look like sitting and watching videos that make me cry, eating cookies and not changing out of my pajamas. I have a hard time being gentle with myself when it comes to doing nothing, especially when it is gorgeous outside. I am realizing more and more how important it is to sit with our emotions and our discomfort. My partner has really taught me that it is okay to be emotional for no reason, it is okay to feel sad after an awesome vacation and it is alright to express my feelings even if they do not seem like they are justified.

I recently started seeing a therapist and it has changed my life. I honestly thought that I did not need one because I do not have extreme feelings of depression, nor do I have a troubled past. I thought that therapy was reserved for people who were really down and out and I did not feel like I had enough "problems" to justify seeking help. Little did I know you do no need to have "problems" to ask for help, to talk to someone who does not know you or judge you or love you. It is so nice to talk to someone who doesn't automatically put me into a category based on my past relationship with them. Granted, it is wonderful to have deep connections with people but it can also be burdensome to be treated like a therapist or be unable to feel sad around someone because they know you are "always happy".

Really delving into our emotional states and observing our bodies and minds when we go through these phases are a really important learning tool. It seems really dark and lonely at first but then the next day you realize that you were able to move through the emotions, noticing how they came about and letting them be messengers of the fact that we are alive and we are human. Instead of seeing fear as a negative emotion we can shift our perspective and see it as a guide in our life, to what makes us feel. Feeling feelings is not a bad thing, it is crazy that I have to remind myself of that. Our society makes it seem like feelings should be suppressed and bottled up, never to be shone the light of day. How can we grow like this? How can we experience the true aliveness within us without feeling all the feelings? Without labeling feelings as good or bad and letting go into them all.

I encourage you to practice being OKAY with feeling all your feelings, being okay with letting go into the feelings of fear and anger and letting them guide you into what makes you feel alive.